There really is nothing like motherhood that can either make or break a friendship. I’ve been incredibly blessed to have my best friend Steph around since, well, before I was born. She was my brother’s friend first and naturally she grew to be mine. Though… “Friend” is used loosely in regards to her. There really isn’t a word for her. She’s the peanut to my butter, the flip to my flop, the laces to my sneakers. She’s my sole sister, the girl before the mister. She’s been there through so much and I have absolutely no idea what I’d do without her! Anyway, enough sap. The thing is… We’ve been through so much. One year we hated each other and didn’t talk. We didn’t invite each other to our birthdays because someone forgot to share an Oreo (*cough cough*). We even climbed Mount Everest in some stormy weather 😉 Some days we thought we’d never make it through, I mean how can you when all your “BFF” necklaces break? Even though we’ve been through the ringer, we’d do anything for each other.
I was scared becoming a mom would change the dynamic of our friendship. It has, but it the most amazing way it’s been for the better. I can no longer go out at the drop of a hat to see the new Hunger Games with her but that means that the time we do spend together is even more special. My daughter means the world to her and I can see that just when she looks at Ellie. When I was in the hospital after giving birth and I thought I was dying (quite literally) she brought me DQ. Cause what no-longer-pregnant chick wants a blizzard to satisfy her no-longer-pregnant-but-still-justified-craving? This girl did. And the only girl to know that would be Steph. I can say without a doubt that as scared as I was for our friendship to change, it did in amazing ways I never could have imagined.
Now here’s the other part. You make friends with people you never would have expected to before. I didn’t make friends easily in school and I’m also the type of person that loses friends quicker than I make them. Being a mom is a whole new ball game. You have to worry about people judging you (well… You really don’t. But you’re a mom. It’s gonna happen). You have to deal with parenting differences and it can be really tough. I thought making mom friends would be hard! What if they didn’t like that I don’t sleep train? What if they think I’m weird for doing baby led weaning? That in itself was what was holding me back from making mom friends, the “what if”‘s. Now that I’ve learned to accept everyone for having their own parenting style and method of doing things and that they would accept me too, I can’t even count my friends. I found an amazing group of women on Facebook and a few of us have formed very good friendships. While we’re across the country we skype, and I’ve even met a few of them! I used to think that I couldn’t be friends with people a lot older than me. However I’ve gone on to make friends only a few years away from my mom, and they’re some of the best ones! I’m so blessed to have all my friends that I’ve made in the last year. And while you may think I’m using the term loosely I can promise that I’m not. We’ve stood together through losses, family tragedies, and parenting struggles. While motherhood and parenthood can be a problem at times due to diversity, if you choose to overlook differences and band together as one, it can be the greatest bond you will ever share someone. 200+ women have become family to me because of struggles that we’ve shared, as well as many joys. I treasure each and every one of them. While I will not be able to meet them all, they all have a place in my heart.
Ultimately motherhood and friendship are both what you make of them. I was scared that when I became a mom at such a young age I would lose all of my friends. While I did lose some, the ones that stick by your side are the ones to keep there. Treasure the friendships lost for what they were; treasure the new friendships for what they will be.
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