Being a mom is amazing and so sad at the same time. I posted this picture on Instagram a few weeks ago, with the caption “Today I will cuddle my baby when she sleeps. Now that she’s not in our bed I miss her so much! Moments like this I realize how big she’s gotten. Her hair is so long, her body is so big draped across mine unlike when she used to fit on my chest. My sweet girl is growing up so quickly right before my eyes, and moments like this are just less and less. So for now, I savour it ❤️”.
Recently we switched Ellie from being in bed with us to a toddler bed. I used to say “the best thing to wake up to is Ellie giving us kisses”, and it was. I really miss it. However, now we get to go into her room and she says “Hi!” with a big smile on her face; I don’t think it will ever get old. I always heard people say, “enjoy it. Before you know they’re moving out”. While Ellie is only a year and won’t be moving out any time soon, the saying is so true. I also believe it’s not something you can understand until you’re a parent. It literally feels like yesterday when Colin handed her to me for the first time, and today she’s standing on her own and I’m sure she’ll be walking in no time. It was like I blinked, and there she was. Talking, brushing her hair, putting hats on her head, and rocking her babies. She’s growing into such a beautiful girl, it’s amazing to see her personality grow. She’s hilarious. She loves to dance, and when we ask her to sing she loves to say “abla dada dabla” and so on. Her favourite saying right now is, “uh oh!” And she holds her hands out. She’s such a beautiful soul. She loves her babies and rocks them to sleep. She loves to cuddle them, and give them hugs and kisses. When I ask her, “can you give your baby a kiss?” Sometimes she comes to me and kisses my tummy. She says hi to everyone, and gets sad when they don’t say it back. “Bye bye” is “iy yi”, when she feels like saying it.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but no one told me it came with this many emotions! She makes me laugh and cry, sometimes within minutes. Don’t even get me started on newborn outfits… They make me a blubbery mess! I makes me excited and sad to know I’ll be going through this again in a few short months. Excited, because, obviously! I’ll have a newborn to cuddle again! Sad because I know that this baby will grow just as quickly, and I’ll have to be sad all over again! And the fact that Ellie will be even older by then, and hitting even more milestones. Trust me, I know it’s a good thing. And I’m so grateful that she’s healthy and hitting those milestones. I just miss my little newborn goose.